Patriotism

Its patriotism season and the government’s chief spinner- who gets paid to do nothing at all- is going on and on about it. Poor guy, he even ends his press briefings with “jina langu ni Alfred Mutua na najivunia kuwa Mkenya.” Whatever. And remove those silly pictures of those Chinese journalists in your office from your website, damn it. Moving on, I know only of a few instances when Kenyans are truly patriotic. One is when they win one of those suicidal races they win(and promptly change their nationalities and acquire hard names). The other two are when one of our own wins the Nobel Peace Prize or leaves the country for greener pastures. Yes, we are that cheap. Last is when the son of a Kenyan wins a US Senate seat and comes touring.

At all other times Kenyans are just embarrassed, annoyed or bemused to belong here. Street variations include navumilia kuwa Mkenya(see strip), naumia kuwa Mkenya and najihurumia kuwa Mkenya. But Dr. Mutua is not alone in his posturing. He has a willing partner in the KTB that runs those ‘Inspired by Kenya’ ads on TV. The good “doctor” is concentrating on billboards and sticking paper on people’s cars. Paper that could be put to better use in ID issuance purposes. Or replacing the stock that was wasted in printing the proposed new constitution that never was. If you want to know why am so livid, read Chinua Achebe’s masterpiece The Problem with Nigeria. All you need to do is to substitute the Nigeria with Kenya and you got what am on about.

Know what Dr Mutua, I feel nothing for your latest pastime. You can go jump into the Indian Ocean if you want. That would a plus for me, one less government official to worry about.

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The Kenyan Hater