OUSTING BECOMES FASHIONABLE

While I was away, It became fashionable in Kenyan political parties to oust leaders of the parties and replace them with others. Very primitive behaviour by our politicians but then again, what do you expect from them? The Biwott camp hastily replaced Uhuru as the chairman of KANU and for some reason, the Registrar of Societies registered the impostors with curious speed.
Then came Soita Shitanda and he too convened his meeting and had him placed as the new FORD K chairman. Musikari Kombo promptly sought an injunction from the courts which he got, barring the ‘new’ officials from assuming office. They are set to fight it out in our especially effective courts.
Ngilu is up next according to the list and she had better watch out ama she is going the same way. Just what is wrong with Kenyan political parties that internal democracy seems such a foreign word to them? And I watched with amusement as one Shitanda proclaimed on tv that he had replaced Kombo and went on to explain why. Only in Kenyan politics I tell you. In the meantime we are hearing that the constitution is this or the other. More than the 100 days the government promised us a constitution in when they took over, they are trying to make up their mind whether its minimum or comprehensive reforms they want? Gimme a break.

MP loses seat(like I care)!

Magarini MP Harrison Kombe has lost his seat. I feel nothing for him really but am having issues with the whole affair. And it has everyhting to do with how my money is going to be used in it. We have just barely 11 months to the damn general elction. It takes quite a bit of unnecessarylogistics to pull off.

For starters, the speaker as to be served with the necessary documents for hm to declare the seat vacant. Then there is the mudslinging period otherwise known as the campaigns where the candidates throw mud on each other. When they finally get elected, the winner will have less than 6 months in office! Honestly why do we need this?

68 More MPs? Gimme a break

Some steering committee or the other has recommended that the number of MPs should be raised by 68! Am at my wit's end here to even try to understand why we need this. In my view, one MP per province are eight too many. Honestly.

One teacher or nurse is far more important than all of Nairobi's eight MPs, and am trying to be polite here. I really am. Indeed, one school is far more important than parliament. And will we be able to afford these ne'er do gooders? NO.

Kalembe does it again

I have always maintained that Kalembe Ndile irritates me a lot. Whenever he opens his mouth to speak, be sure he will say something stupid. Really stupid. I always thought it had nothing to do with his ignorance, sorry lack of education. Now I am doubtful. Ok, Kalembe I hope you are proud of yourself, you earned yourself 'favourable' mention again in the Kenyan Hater.

Anyway, I was watching TV this tme and Kalembe comes on. I prepared myself for something outrageous but nothing could have prepared me for what he said. In case you missed it, he actually said with a straight face that....(drums)...ODM-K is funded by the Al Qaeda movement of Osama. Talk about taking ignorance to a new level, Kalembe just takes the cap.

I do not need to do a dissertation on this one for you to understand the absurdity of it all. Much as the utterly despicable and annoying ODM-K crowd may be getting their funding from outside forces, the idea of being in links with a terrorist organization is just beyond me.

I think it is also the same day that the PCEA moderator alleged that 67% of MPs(or something like that) visit witchdoctors. If I even comment on this one. I reduce myself to such low levels.

Who needs MPs?

I am one of those who is convinced we do not need MPs. At all. The average MP(all of them are) puts in between 13-15 hours of work daily. Now take my primary school teacher. When I was in class 7 and 8, we went to school a cool 7 days a week. He puts in about 56 hrs a week and gets paid an avergae 11,000 shs a month. The nurse probably works longest and gets paid just a little more than the teacher.

Enter the MP. First they think they are doing the world a favour by just being in it.And so lazy they haven’t even bothered to have their website updated. They work 13-15 hours a week and most of the time they are not even in the house anyway. The only reason we have MPs is because somebody has to earn that money. Period.

In my view, one teacher is more important than all the 222 Mps put together. Of course there are a few honourable man and women in the house but the rest are just plain useless. They only know how to pick on each other for personal gains in front of the TV cameras. I wonder what their children think of them.

GITHONGO'S LATEST

I am dismayed everyday by the things that happen in Kenya. John Githongo is a very tired man. Just this week when he thought the Arturs had had enough attention, he delivered another piece. KACC director Ringera had asked him to ‘go slow’ on the corruption in Kenya. See, the former PS has made it his career to discuss grand corruption in Kenya at conferences around Western capitals. And he titles it well too: “…a whistleblower’s account.” In addition to being an academic staff at some English university, it pays for his stay in his self-imposed exile. Not that it’s not necessary, he was warned by the same Ringera not to return any time soon as it would be unsafe for them. By the way, Ringera is the anti-corruption body director. Somebody please define the meaning corruption for me for it seems it just got changed while I wasn’t looking. And that wasn’t all either, he added that the ‘victims had suffered enough’ and that Githongo should not underestimate "pain that you have caused certain people."

In case he(Githongo) had forgotten, loose lips sink ships and he had sunk some Titanics which was risky. In his bit by bit style, Githongo has also revealed that Ringera left all the questioning to his assistants while he was so bored he nearly picked his nose. As a great legal mind, it is unacceptable that he should leave the questioning to non-lawyers however good they are. One of them has since been sacked for stepping on some big toes. It is surprising therefore for Ringera to come back here and proclaim for us how helpful Githongo had been. In his latest, he says he provided extensive and intensive answers for them. Audio recordings of which are unavailable though, as the system has failed to record. What? Such an important event and they use faulty equipment? Assuming I buy that story, which I don’t.

It is quite obvious Ringera has no moral ground(or any other for that matter) to continue occupying his post). He has to justify his fat pay-larger than the president’s- to his masters. He even still thinks he has a conscience as he said in his statement: "on the strength of his conscience and his fidelity to the law and the Constitution of Kenya." The great lawyer’s mind that refused to work when it should have.

I am offering a prize for him if he steps down, he can take over as the Kenyan Hater and hate on all those who wanted him out. Jokes aside, we need an anti-corruption director for real because one should have resigned by now.

THE KENYAN HATER
www.kenyanhater.tk

ODM-K REGISTRATION

I am neither a friend of the government nor the Opposition (read the ODM-K and insignificant others). They both irritate me a great deal (many other people do, like Kalembe Ndile) But during the registration of the ODM and the successive circus, my disdain for them was divided.

It is a loosely kept secret that the ODM is just a bunch of spoilt noisemakers. No other party has more of these than them. They have all been in government before, some ven more than once. So they figured what we needed was yet another party. So they proceeded to attempt to register one, and sadly, succeeded. Acting on false confidence after wining the referendum, they sought to burden Kenyans with yet another part with a great manifesto on paper and not much action to support it. Kenyans voted against the proposed constitution because it was a bad document and not because they felt anything for the ODM.

You would think the government (NARC-K my foot!) would have them figured out by now. I expected them to hold their feet down and deny them a registration certificate for good. But for some reason decided within some quarters of government, they gave registered the party. An illegal party because there already exists a party with a near similar name(which is allegedly linked to some of the new party’s top brass). The government shied away from confrontation and abandoned their duty. Some government!
And the party- which was probably registered on Sunday evening and the certificate sent by registered mail the next morning- had a few of their surprises. The officials collected their certificate, photocopied and framed it, sneaked into the AG’s office blocks and then reappeared as if it had just been registered that very minute. To ‘prove’ to their supporters that their demands had been met. They seemed to say ‘see, the government is afraid of us.’ And nobody was missing the party, so much so that professor Anyan’g Nyong’o had to literally jump over a fence to join in. And a new party entered the fray.